“All healing is first a healing of the heart.”
–Carl Townsend
Individual Therapy
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I am a licensed psychologist providing telehealth therapy for adults in Washington State and PSYPACT states.
With more than 30 years of clinical experience, I specialize in helping individuals navigate trauma, anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, perfectionism, and life transitions.
My approach is integrative and relational, drawing from psychodynamic, attachment-based, CBT, narrative, and existential therapies. I focus on helping clients make sense of their experiences, reduce emotional distress, and reconnect with themselves in a more grounded and meaningful way.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or disconnected, therapy can help you move toward clarity, stability, and a life more aligned with your values.
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I offer both brief and longer-term psychotherapy. Each therapeutic process is unique, and we will work together to determine the pace and depth that best supports your needs. My approach is strength-based, collaborative, and grounded in the belief that you already carry important insight and resilience that can guide your healing.
This work is often a good fit for individuals seeking deeper meaning, emotional healing, and personal growth rather than a quick symptom-focused approach. Many clients come to therapy wanting to better understand themselves, their patterns, and the impact of past experiences.
With your permission, I will gently offer challenges and invite exploration of thoughts, beliefs, and patterns from different perspectives. This process is designed to support greater self-awareness, flexibility, and emotional clarity.
Therapy is a collaborative process, and your feedback is an essential part of our work together. A strong therapeutic relationship includes openness, communication, and mutual understanding.
I approach this work with cultural humility, respect for your lived experience, and a commitment to creating an inclusive space where all identities and backgrounds are welcomed and valued.
Couples Therapy
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I bring more than 30 years of clinical experience and utilize an evidence-based, emotionally focused, and strength-based approach to couples therapy. Our work focuses on understanding what is working in the relationship, what feels stuck, and how patterns between partners develop over time.
Couples therapy is about understanding relational patterns and how each partner influences the emotional system of the relationship. We explore the “dance” between partners—how you move toward and away from one another, and how cycles of conflict or disconnection take shape.
Together, we work to identify communication patterns, deepen emotional understanding, and support healthier ways of responding to one another. This process often includes reducing conflict, increasing emotional safety, and strengthening intimacy and connection.
A central focus of therapy is building the “we” in the relationship—helping couples move from cycles of disconnection toward greater collaboration, emotional responsiveness, and partnership.I bring more than 30 years of clinical experience and utilize an evidence-based, emotionally focused, and strength-based approach to couples therapy. Our work focuses on understanding what is working in the relationship, what feels stuck, and how patterns between partners develop over time.
Couples therapy is about understanding relational patterns and how each partner influences the emotional system of the relationship. We explore the “dance” between partners—how you move toward and away from one another, and how cycles of conflict or disconnection take shape.
Together, we work to identify communication patterns, deepen emotional understanding, and support healthier ways of responding to one another. This process often includes reducing conflict, increasing emotional safety, and strengthening intimacy and connection.
A central focus of therapy is building the “we” in the relationship—helping couples move from cycles of disconnection toward greater collaboration, emotional responsiveness, and partnership.
Discernment Counseling
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Discernment Counseling is designed for couples who are uncertain about the future of their relationship. If you or your partner are considering divorce but are not fully decided, this process offers a structured space to slow down, reduce conflict, and gain clarity before making a final decision.
This approach is different from traditional couples therapy. Rather than immediately working to fix the relationship, Discernment Counseling focuses on understanding what has happened, where each partner stands, and what options are realistically available moving forward.
It is specifically designed for couples where one partner may be “leaning out” of the relationship and the other is “leaning in.” The goal is not to pressure either person, but to help both partners make a thoughtful and informed decision about whether to work on the relationship, move toward separation, or pause before deciding.
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Discernment Counseling may be a good fit if you or your partner are feeling uncertain about the future of your relationship and are not yet sure whether to continue working on the marriage or move toward separation or divorce.
This process is designed for couples who feel “stuck” between staying and leaving, where one partner may be leaning toward ending the relationship and the other is hoping to preserve it.
You may benefit from Discernment Counseling if:
You are having ongoing doubts about whether your relationship can or should continue
One or both partners are considering divorce but feel uncertain
Traditional couples therapy feels too premature or unhelpful at this stage
Conversations about the relationship often lead to conflict, shutdown, or confusion
You want clarity before making a final decision
Discernment Counseling is not about pressuring either partner to stay or leave. Instead, it provides a structured space to slow down, understand what has led you here, and make a thoughtful, intentional decision about the future.
If you are feeling uncertain, disconnected, or at a crossroads in your relationship, this process can help you gain the clarity needed to move forward with greater confidence.
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You will attend sessions together as a couple, but much of the most important work occurs in brief individual conversations with Dr. Skillestad Winans. This structure is intentional, as partners often begin Discernment Counseling in very different emotional and relational places.
The purpose of the individual conversations is to create space for each partner to speak openly about their perspective, concerns, and hopes for the future without interruption or escalation.
Dr. Skillestad Winans approaches this work with respect for each partner’s experience, including the possibility that one or both may be considering divorce. At the same time, the process also gently explores whether there is a pathway toward restoring the relationship.
A central focus is helping each partner reflect on their own contributions to the relationship dynamic and consider what they may want to carry forward into future relationships—regardless of the outcome.
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All Discernment Counseling sessions are conducted via telehealth. Services are available to couples located in Washington State and across all PSYPACT states.
Discernment Counseling typically involves one to five sessions. After each session, the couple decides whether to continue, allowing space for reflection and intentional decision-making throughout the process.
Each session is approximately two hours and includes both joint time together as a couple and individual time with each partner.
For couples seeking a more intensive format, Discernment Counseling Intensives are also conducted virtually. This format can be helpful for several reasons, including reducing the emotional strain of prolonged uncertainty, supporting more focused decision-making, and creating momentum toward clarity in a shorter period of time.
Intensives are structured over two to three days and include intentional time for breaks and meals so the process feels manageable, contained, and supported rather than overwhelming. This pacing allows couples to stay engaged while still having space to rest and reflect between sessions.
Standard fee: $425 per session. Intensive fees are provided upon request, and a 50% non-refundable deposit is required at the time of scheduling.